How to be a MACHO MAN-…Rule 1

Never offer your seat to a lady, however old she maybe, ever, in a crowded public vehicle.

Come on, it’s like breaking the secret vow of masculinity, you got to show how hard you are, tough guy, you got to get the girls swooning, I mean literally, girls will swoon in a crowded bus, being jostled from side to side, with all these tough guys around!

WOW!

Now, these men are not entirely to blame, because on all public transports in , KOLKATA,India, only .001/100000% of the total seats are allotted as “reserved” for us, “ladies”, as if in justification of our dwindling ratios!

STATISTICS STATISTICS…!

The rest 100000% is for all the macho hunks, of course, without doubt.

And compromising with these seats of honour, implies compromising with your valor,your manhood, sacrificing seats for these lesser mortals…NEVER!

And so all self respecting males zealously guard their seats against all those overpowering, dominatingly dangerous, lethal, old women-wobbly in the knees, women with babies in their arms, or a working lady, or any “femme fatale” for that matter…!

And as it happened…that last week, I was on my way to college, on a nice Kolkatan afternoon, tormented with the impending debacle of an exam.(Phew…its over now)

It was a crowded bus, but I somehow, managed to squeeze myself in, and even got a seat! LUCKY ME.

And then there was this old, really old lady, poor soul, she got up somehow, poor thing had some problem with her knees, and then some “kind” men offered her a corner, TO STAND!!!

HERCULES!

You can’t easily carve a corner, now,can you? Oh no, you can’t!…you kidding?

I was shrouded by a crowd, but I could hear her, asking people to make some room for her…poor old lady, and I was already upright, and offered her my seat! (Can’t stand @#$%^^%$$ no more, never did!)

Poor lady, was hesitant, but I shoved her in, and then handed her my stuff, to make it look that SHE was doing a favour to ME!

I won’t forget the expression on her face! never!

AM I BLOWING MY OWN TRUMPET…NO I DON’T THINK SO!

Its sad, I know, but such things are a rarity, if not a no show, in India, here people think it to be a show off, you know, the NGO’S kind of stuff, here no one leave their seats for no one!

No one makes room for no one!

And the men!!! Oh they just stared in awe…amazement,as if I had come down from space, probably thinking, “Is she stupid?”

I GAVE A GOOD EXAM THAT DAY!

Now all MEN are not that bad, NAY…there are also some KING-ARTHUR’S-KNIGHTS-TYPE, who will willingly forego their seats, to “ahem…young students”, but only if they happen to be shamelessly occupying any of the scarce “ladies seats”…

The general seating, out of question, that’s the undisputed territory of the MACHO MEN, the BRAVEHEARTS!

How charming, how valiant, how…! WONDERFUL!

I can’t manufacture any reason for such selective security, which men adopt to guard and preserve themselves; maybe they think they deserve that privilege, perhaps defending themselves against a divine arrangement, which made them as they are…as they happen to be… a rib shorter than women, perhaps…

CAN YOU???

SHAHWAR KIBRIA